witchypoo.com

A hitch!

Why’s there always gotta’ be a hitch?

Sigh.

I talked to my realtor last night and found out that the tenant in the upstairs apartment of ‘my house’ isn’t staying so it looks like I’ll have to find a replacement while preparing for the move. Considering I won’t be able to show it or anything till I buy, that could be sticky. But, I guess it’s better that than moving in and finding out that the existing tenant’s a pain in the ass.

I guess all I can do is put the word out that I’ll be looking for a tenant and see what I come up with. Once I get my hands on the place I might be able to fix it up, add lighting and such, and make it more attractive.

Of course, I couldn’t help wonder if my boy would be interested…?

You know, I’m really ‘if-fy’ on the idea of having the kids live with me because as generous as they can be with their friends and as responsible and hard working as they are in the work-a-day-world… well, I just don’t know if they’re take me seriously when it comes to ‘fessing with rent or help with me.

Still, it is kind of cool to think that we’d all be close and able to help with the baby when she comes….

Anyways, got to get ready for work.

Today, I am going to plan for my new home and work the snot out of The Secret on this one : )   

The other day I wrote on my facebook that I was going to find my new house and I think I did it.

We got to tour a home yesterday that, I think, suits me very well indeed. It’s in the part of town I’d said I wanted to live in when I first came back to the Falls, a quiet, old neighbourhood where families raise kids and you know your neighbours. It’s also small, decently maintained, and has that ‘owner occupied’ look where improvements may have been done on a budget, but at least they’ve been done and consistently. It’s also got a fenced yard and a paved drive, and the original hardwood’s in decent shape.

In fact, the only major concern I’d have about it is the kitchens because the upper kitchen is lain out in such a way that the fridge is tucked in an entryway by the back door… rather inconvenient…

Looking at it briefly, though, I suppose I could open up the layout of the main floor over time or consider putting the kitchen in the basement.

Of course, I have to wonder how hard it would be or if it’s even possible to do that because of plumbing and wiring. There is a washroom down there, so they obviously plumbed and wired that…

Darn! Time to go to work : (

Grrr-snarl!

Woke up this morning and all I wanted to do was to be able to roll over, climb on my guy, and get a back rub. Huff puff! Problem is, I don’t have a ‘my guy’.

Okay! So I admit that, to a degree, I’d like one. Waking up and being able to snuggle, to hang onto them and say ‘don’t make me go out there, I wanna stay here with you’, and getting woken up with backrubs and kisses… well, that can be nice sometimes…

‘Course, with it comes the risk that you’ll want to fool around and he’ll be pissy because he doesn’t want to have to perform, or, that you won’t want to and he’ll be pissy because you’re rejecting him.

Oh! And then there’s the whole problem of how to get on with your day without him driving you nuts. After all, way too many of them go from ‘snugly’ to ‘injured and accusatory’ between the ‘pour me a coffee’ and ‘have a nice day’.

Just the other day I went to visit a friend and my ‘Spidey-sences’ were tingling before I even got out of the car. He was pulling this passive-aggressive B.S. and when I tried to give him a compliment, he told her she had a ‘big f-ing mouth’ and bolted, only to call back a while later and say ‘so… are we going out?’ (Helter-skelter!)

And they aren’t the only ones. No! My Ex and I… almost all my best friends and their partners… we all end up dealing with it time and again. So, why the hell do we do this to each other? Or, more importantly, why do I let myself get caught up in there ‘if only’ moments?

Sigh. I guess it’s natural. After all, I haven’t had any intimacy with anyone in half a year or more and we all have that natural need for physical and emotional closeness. Just too bad it comes at such a high price.

That’s where I got thinking about the friends who’ve been wanting to introduce me to their guy friends. In the one instance, it’s a totally ‘friendly’ deal, where she figures he and I share some interests and it might mean that both of us end up with someone decent to hand out with. The other is much the same except she’s hinting I might actually want to date this guy. With either, I can’t help thinking ‘what the hell?!’ and being tempted, but there’s always that low grade fear that it’ll go badly.

No, it’s never easy.

Worse part is, with the second situation, she’s told me enough about the guy I can’t help thinking he might be worth the gamble, I mean… dark hair, green eyes, a twisted sense of humour like mine, and a taxable income…? That’s an attractive proposition! But it’s not looking like she’s going to get us together to meet or anything any time soon, and I’m starting to wonder if maybe it’s best.

Damned ‘reality’!

If I didn’t have such a busy day planned, I’d climb back in bed, tell it to ‘piss off!’ and go back to thinking about that back rub. Sigh.

That’s it. Just two people enjoying each other’s company without any anger or resentment… is that too much to ask?

So, I know I said I wasn’t interested in dating but I’ve got to admit my friend’s making it hard. You see, she’s been telling me about this guy she knows - ‘so-and-so said she had Chris fix her air conditioner and he did an amazing job’… she’ll say, knowing I like ‘handy’ guys – nothing too personal, but tidbits she knows will interest me. Thing is, she’s told me enough I figure he’d make a good friend or boyfriend, but we have to meet first, and it’s not happening.

Just the other day I got frustrated enough I asked her ‘does he have grotesquely long nose or ear hair?’

‘No.’

‘Does he have a receding hair line?’

‘No.’

‘Does he have a beer gut?’ I asked, thinking the guy sounds too perfect for me. ‘Tell me he’s got a beer gut… a mighty hunch… something!?’

‘Actually,’ she said, ‘he’s got all his hair… it’s dark, by the way, and I think he’s got green eyes…(?)’

‘SONOFABITCH!’ I laughed. ‘You know you’re killing me, don’t you?’

I mean, if she told me he had leprosy or something, maybe I could just forget it, but instead she tells me he’s into numerology and garage-sale-ing. ‘You know,’ I told her, finally biting at the bait, ‘I can just picture looking at him all smiles and saying ‘Oh, Christopher… I’m ever so happy! Are you happy?’ and him actually saying ‘deliriously so,’ in the same cheesy British accent.

Of course, that’s when she laughed and said, ‘You know, I think I’ve actually heard him say that!’

ARGH!

Yah, that was all I needed to hear to know I’ve got to meet this man. The problem is ‘how’? All three of us are very busy people, and I get the strong feeling we’re both very shy and she’s not really good with social situations, so goodness knows how long it’ll take for her to invite the two of us over at the same time. What if he ends up dating someone?!

Well, I did a few cards on it tonight and it looks like I’m going to have to be the one to take action. She left a book he lent her at my house so I think I’ll take it to her and if I just happen to put a note inside it, so be it. ‘Thanks for the loan, would be glad to buy you a drink by way of thanks. (Insert telephone #)

Yah, I’d probably be a nervous wreck and all, but I’d rather try than fail for the lack there of.

Well, today won’t go down in the books as a good one.

I dared to dream BIG and it seems that like most dreams, this is a short one.

I got the chance today to go back and check that house out today – the one that felt like ‘HOME’ – and it turned out that it’s just got too much needs doing to be sensible for someone like me.

The wiring is a nightmare of patch jobs that would probably take between 2 and 10 thousand to straighten out, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that the walls are stuffed with sawdust or horse hair, so goodness knows what it’d take to get it properly insulated!

There’s still a part of me wants to hang a sign on it that says ‘Chez Lynn’, but I just don’t have what it would take financially to do it.

Sigh.

I also have to accept that the other house I was interested in, the one close to the graveyard, is probably going to be sold by the weekend. It was the more sensible of the two homes, in ‘move in’ condition, but it just didn’t have the ‘homey’ feeling the other one did. Still, it had a ‘footy’ tub and it was nice enough… Unfortunately, it was nice enough that someone else is apparently snatching it up. I guess we’ll see.

On the positive side, I did have some good luck today…

- I learned the local electrician I like is still in business and will do work for me if I need him to

- My insurance broker will be calling me with a couple of estimates so that I’ll know ‘ballpark’ what I’ll need monthly and such

- I got a recommendation of a lawyer who may give a flat rate on legal work for a house

- I got in touch with my mortgage broker to ask what I would be able to afford without rental income (in case as a ‘last ditch’ I decide to go with a condo)

And, when it comes down to it, I guess I have until November to have an offer in on a house, so there’s still time for the Universe to bring me another dream house.

The important thing, I suppose, is that I tried. Maybe I’m still worrying too much about the details. Maybe I should say ‘the hell with it’ and just try for that big old plum of a house and trust that the Universe will bring me the money to do it up right… LMAO! Yah! Like I could really do that!

No. The best thing, I think, is to let it go. There will be other opportunities…

Okay. Feeling a little more rational today : )

Got the chance to sit with Julie yesterday and she laid a few cards on the house deal and says that I can have what I want. The big thing she pointed out was that, if anything, it was my own fears and concerns about money that would keep me from having what I want. She also saw that if I get the house - either one - I will need to push myself out of my comfort zone to start making more money, not so much out of real ‘need’, but more so because my idea of ‘enough’ is what it is.

I couldn’t help chuckling because I knew what she meant. I’ve always had a hard time with money - or the lack thereof - so I tend to panic when there’s not a buffer zone. Hearing what she had to say though, I was pleased and scared at the same time, because I’m hoping that by taking the house and forcing myself out of my ‘rut’, I’ll force myself to try new things and hopefully to get some of that entrepreneurial thing happening that others, like Cathy and Julie, do so well.

So, today I will focus on getting hold of Opportunities Niagara to see if there’s anything available through them for help with closing costs on the house. I will also force myself over the next few days to contact an electrician - possibly call 3 for comparison - and find out what it would cost to have that house switched from 60 to 90 amp service. I should also make a call to my Realtor to see if we can get apointments to see some of the other properties that interested me, and then to re-view the 2 I liked best. By seeing them the second time, I can look at some of the things I would have missed like plumbing and space available and such.

I also have to get a plan together for how I’m going to deal with the situation with DND. Back in the day, when I was dealing with them on a CFB level, it was usually no problem, but calling to National Defense in Ottawa could mean a lot of calls getting me nowhere. If nothing else, maybe I can do an online search this weekend and see if there’s a way to find help on the net and then that might help me narrow down a way to reach someone by phone.

Other than that, I suppose I feel better despite the frequent melt downs. Guess I just have to remember that it’s okay to get a little worn out here and there and to let off steam as I need to because house buying and life in general can get a bit much at times and I really do have a lot going on.

Went to the bank this morning. Made some fone calls. It seems that maybe… MAYBE… I’ve got a lead on someone who can help me.

If any of my friends visit my site and see this, and if you’re the praying-kind at all, I’d surely be much obliged if you’d kindly send some positive energy… say a little prayer… anything that might help me luck into a couple thou that’d help me get this house.

Thanks! I love you all <|: )

WARNING : Readers with a low drama tolerance threshold should NOT read the following.

ARGH!

Yesterday, I wrote about trying to buy a house and figured I’d finish what I was saying when I got home. All day at work, ‘house’ dreams danced in my head, and then I came home and… POOF!… the dream, she was gone!

I came home to an email from my realtor saying I’d need to have 2% of the purchase price in the bank to show the lenders.

What?!? I’m living in subsidized housing for goodness sake and if it weren’t for the down payment assistance program through regional housing I wouldn’t be getting into this in the 1^st place. I felt like going to the broker and ‘splainin’ it to him… ‘Hey Sparky! You don’t live in subsidized housing and have G-notes stuffed in your sock drawer.’

I closed the email, went to bed, and had a melt down.

Why would the Universe get me this far and then – yoink! – take it all away? I mean, I’d come to terms with the fact I lived in housing, worked a dead end job, and the best I could hope for was to move to St. Kits to save on commuting and just ‘suck it up’ princess! Then, as soon as my path was laid out, things went wrong. Two steps forward, one step back. A dollar saved and a hundred spent.

Sigh.

Dammit! I was stuck in the Falls.

Then I realized ‘stuck in the Falls’… I mean, after all, I’d only spent the better part of twenty some years away from the Falls while my heart was here. So maybe… And what with my sister talking about buying a house here and all and then suddenly deciding against it, I guess I started thinking ‘wait!’ ‘I want to buy a house in Niagara!’ and ‘I’d be a good property manager!’ And the next thing I knew, one thing lead to another, and I got this email about a subsidized housing program and, suddenly, I found I’d qualified for a down payment loan!

Problem was, that email about the 2%…

Sigh.

When I read it I promptly had a melt down because of course, living in housing you can’t get ahead… not without them putting you right back behind… so I cried myself to sleep, but I got up this morning and decided I’m not the type of person to give up that easily. Not when I want something this badly!

I guess I’ll just have to see what I can do…

Okay, so I haven’t posted in ages, but I’ve been crazy busy. There’s tons I could share but the biggest thing is I’m buying a house.

I’m not sure how, what with, or where, but somehow it seems the Universe is telling me it’s time. So, who am I to argue with the One?

I guess I’m buying a house.

So, Sunday, my agent and I went house hunting, and of the lot, three were noteworthy.

One was a huge disappointment because it’s obviously a ‘flip’ the current owner’s done a poor job on and when he couldn’t milk it for enough, he’s slapped a high price tag on it and is fishing for a ‘sucker’. I may yet decide I am that sucker, and maybe I’ll do what they couldn’t and turn it into a decent house.

Another is a solid little investment that won’t make me much but that also won’t lose me anything in the long haul. I suppose I could see living there, but it’s not a house I got excited about.

The real surprise was in a downtown house I really wasn’t big on.

It’s an older home that causes me concern because it’s got no curb appeal, there’s no garage or landscaping, and in the long run it’ll probably need a new roof and windows at least. And that’s before we get into the neighbourhood and the closing stores and all. It’s also got asbestos siding, which means I’d need a HASMAT team to refinish it… ARGH! But, on the positive side, it does have decent square footage.

The big thing here was that, while viewing it, I got the distinct and almost overwhelming feeling that it was HOME.

Now, for most people this might not sound like such a big thing, but for me… that means a lot. When you’ve lived in as many houses as I have, it’s easy to

Ohoh! Got to meet Rob at 10 tomorow and oh oh get to work! I’ll have to finish this later…!

I want to go to Dubai!

Not that I ever thought I’d say it… considering the fact I know almost nothing of the place… but people I know who’ve been there say it ‘rocks’.

When my new friend ‘Ady’ mentioned it lately, I actually chuckled to myself because the best I could scrape up from my consciousness of Dubai was that it was in the Middle East, possibly west of Arabia, and that it was connected to ‘oil’.

My mind also gave me two images of Dubai. One was of a modern, bustling metropolis where ‘movers and shakers’ played with fancy cars and yachts and cut heavy-duty business deals. The other was of an ‘old world’ sort of ‘haggling in the market’ sort of place where some traditions were best respected.

In fact, it somehow made me think of stories my Dad told me of ‘Portobello Road’ and I found it amusing to think that, despite the designer suit, the fellow across from you at table might really be a ‘pirate’. Rather than deterring me, though, that only makes me want to go there all the more. I mean, how freaking exciting is that?!

So, while I’m probably too much of a ‘chicken’ to ever do it, I’m putting Dubai at the top of my list of ‘places I want to go’ and telling myself that some day I’ll get over my fear and actually try to see it up close and personal.